I've been able to rest and try to relax the last few days. It's hard to know physically and emotionally how long this miscarriage will impact my day to day life. Emotionally I know they'll always be a part of me that feels nothing but gratitude and love for the little one we never got to meet. The other part of me is dealing with the "why me?", "how come?", "I just don't get it" part.

I've been blessed to have very understanding clients (as I work freelance). Only a few of them know and they've been very accommodating while I've been unavailable this week. I've made a decision to not travel as much for work anymore. I don't want to be away from my husband as much as I've been the past two years. We have so much fun together and it just doesn't make any sense anymore to keep working and be gone like I've been. Slowing down was inevitable as we so badly want to start a family... so I figure no time like the present.

Speaking of presents. I think I'm going to give myself a little one this weekend in the form of a pedicure. Thanks to spendy gas prices and saving for the baby I've not had a pedicure in a couple of months... opting to do at home pedi's... that regardless of how hard I concentrate, never ever come out looking as nice as the professional ones.

I'm continuing to feel the physical effects of miscarriage... and this has to be one of the worst parts... it's like having the worst period of your life. Every time you make a potty stop you're reminded that you're no longer pregnant, no longer expecting, no longer within 9 months of babydom. While I'm going to take my time to grieve I am also well aware that life must go on... and so it shall.