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"I'm So Mad I Could Just Spit"
Monday, August 11, 2008
Woah. What a weekend I had. It was nice and relaxing right up until the end when I found out that my brother (younger) may be about to become a dad. He recently found out that his ex-girlfriend is pregnant and he might be the father (apparently there are a few possibilities... ewww.)
Anyway... I'm sitting here feeling sort of sorry for myself. This was supposed to be my big baby year and instead I just feel like a big baby myself. The DH and I haven't told his parents or my parents yet that we're trying... we wanted it to be a surprise. However, now I'm afraid that when we do get pregnant (if we aren't already) and we announce it to my side of the family I'm just going to look competitive (sort of a little habit of mine). It's probably stupid but it's how I feel.
The DH and I have done everything right. We've worked hard, we've built a loving home and we've planned so that when we welcome our bundle of joy into the world we'll be ready. Now I feel like that joy is hampered by my brother's, how should I say this... opportunistic ex-girlfriend. Neither have jobs, she already has one child and the situation just couldn't be worse (at least from my perspective). "I'm so mad I could just spit" (one of my favorite lines from the original Parent Trap).
The oh-so ironic thing is that if I am pregnant now (I'm several days past ovulation)... his potential child and mine would be due about three or four weeks apart. Arrghhh... this is painful.
So what do you think ladies? I'm a being a big baby or is it fair for me to feel that even though I'm not pregnant yet my baby joy thunder is being stolen?
August 11, 2008 at 11:59 AM
I think that you have every right to be annoyed. I would be, too. It is really frustrating when you do everything "by the book" and others who decide to go wheels off just skate by without any repercussions (sp?). You have to be nice publicly, because that is what responsible/mature people do, but there is nothing wrong with venting to those who understand. I will feel the same way if any of my friends who already have a child get pregnant again before I am for the first time...not that I will not be happy for them, but dammit, it is my turn. It is really strange, because I never felt this way about getting married but the baby thing is making me really competitive.
Anyway, I hope that this is your month b/c you will show them what classy family planning looks like! :)
August 11, 2008 at 7:14 PM
First: I think you have every right to be upset...we found out my DH's cousin was pregnant about 2 months after we started trying...it was really frustrating because it was an accident (she was married but still) and we were trying and trying...it was upsetting.
Second: I would hope that no one thinks you are competing...its not like it happens miraculously...if you are really worried about it, you should take your mom aside and say something like "how long did you try...DH and I are trying and its taking so long!!" or something like that...she'll understand that its not a competition...if anyone doubts you- just show them this blog!
Third: Are you really competing with a tramp who doesn't know her baby daddy? Just saying :) I am the oldest cousin on my dad's side and almost the last (except for my siblings) to have a baby...but at least I can say I have the first legitimate baby! Hehe...I know its a horrible, petty thing to say but its true and its how I feel about it.
August 11, 2008 at 7:15 PM
Oh! And I wanted to say...that since you're the girl and he's not married to ex-gf...it will be much more special when you have your baby (considering there will likely be a paternity test to deal with with the other baby) so don't worry too much!!